gingeralien

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btw everyone, I have a job! :) finally. I work as a casual shop assistant at the Warrandyte Bakery. It a fun job as it's pretty easy work. Still have to learn how to make coffee but i am doing the barristers course on Thursday. Gwenda the boss is a bit of a hawk...watching our every move, although when she isn't there it's really easy and relaxing. I get $14 on weekdays, $16 on sat and $18 on sun...pretty good for my first job, yeah?

I am going mental now cause I really want to spend some of the money I have earned but whenever I go out shopping I cant find ONE nice thing I like. Its actually making me so mad. Not to mention my recent depressive fat-state, where i just got stretch marks when i have never had them before T_T. Shopping makes me feel happy and when I can't find one thing I want to buy it makes me more upset.

AHHHHHHHH 100 POSTS!!!! =O

Why did this year have to be the year every single one of my courses excepted less people and the clearly-in scores went up a massive amount! Well i am just glad I got into something in the city and a course i liked...glad my last resort wasn't Gippsland =/

So I got my uni offer...I feel more comfortable telling you bloggers than having people I hate on facebook "like" my status. I got into RMIT civil engineering and infrastructure. It was my 3rd preference.
I didn't get into Monash which i didn't think i would...which is good cause i didn't want to get it anyways, too far to travel. I was really shocked when I saw i didn't get into Melbourne. Last year the clearly-in was only 85, it must have gone up at least 6 for me not to have gotten in. Then I looked up n the Internet what the score was and it's no where to be found, only a dash (-) in the newspaper. Something seems a bit strange.
FINALLY, i looked on the Internet again to find out about the Melbourne Uni's engineering course and it said that they weren't holding plain engineering anymore....I don't know what to think. Meh, I am pretty happy with what I got. I am just looking at all the positives now.

I look around me and all i see is beautiful, pretty people who i can never compare to. Their long curled hair, cute small noses, perfect make up, thin tall bodies. No matter how hard I work, how well i eat i never seem to improve, I just age each day looking worse and worse. Not like I am getting older...in fact I still look as young as a 14 year old and often act like one. No wonder security at bars always check my licence twice over.


I just can never act or be confident the way I want to be because all I feel is self conscious about myself. Deep down in my heart there will always be a part of me that wants to be adored, stared at and generally "beautiful". Reality will hit me eventually, and i just hope that i can be confident after I realise I can never change. All these wonder years of my life will be over by then and I will have wasted them away.

I want something i cant have.
For example this dress. Sigh

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Jessica Ruth Charlesworth

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)
jessizzle
sounds like a bbq meat

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal)
Purple Turtle
wow so sly :P

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on/or neighborhood if it's a number)
Ruth Dellas...sounds more of a porn name to me lol

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
chaje
cute :P

6. YOUR SUPERHERO/CRIMINAL NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Blue ice chocolate...? haha

7. YOUR IRAQI NAME: ((2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your last name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms first name).
Eacahe - O_o

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents middle names).
Anthony Evelen

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets).
Black Josie.
sounds kinda kinky hehe
Black Sheldon?...hm no

10. YOUR HOOD NAME:....first 3 letters of your first name and add -iqua....
Jesiqua - bhahah